


Why Don't You Hate Me?

by CoreyWW



Series: I Want to Understand-verse AU (Chronological Order) [2]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anger, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Attempted Murder, Contradicted by Mr. Greg, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Everyone Needs A Hug, F/F, F/M, Friendship, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Relationships, Male-Female Friendship, Mental Anguish, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Not quite Yandere but getting there..., One-Sided Attraction, One-Sided Relationship, Panic, Pre-Series, Prequel, Regret, Threats of Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-06
Updated: 2015-11-06
Packaged: 2018-04-30 06:55:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5154476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CoreyWW/pseuds/CoreyWW
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Greg woke up in the middle of the night to see Pearl sitting next to him, already glaring when he opened his eyes. </p><p>She was holding a sword."</p><p>A pre-canon story about a confrontation between Greg and Pearl that had been a long time coming and ultimately changed how they saw each other.</p><p>In the canon-divergent continuity of "I Want to Understand". Is contradicted in canon by Mr. Greg.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Why Don't You Hate Me?

Greg woke up in the middle of the night to see Pearl sitting next to him, already glaring when he opened his eyes.

She was holding a sword.

Greg froze, his back flat against the floor of the van. There was nothing nearby to grab but the beat-up comforter underneath him and the thin blue blanket on top of him. The back of his van was cramped, Pearl was less than an inch from him. There was nowhere for him to run if ... if this actually went as bad as it looked.

And since Greg was pretty sure he knew what this was all about, it actually might go that bad.

They were silent. Finally, Greg was able to ignore the sinking feeling of dread in his chest long enough to speak.

“H-hey Pearl,” he said, surprised by the casualness of his own voice.

“ _Greg_ ,” Pearl said coldly. Her eyes never left him.

“Nice uh ... nice to see you! In my van ... in the middle of the night ... with your ... your sword there.” Greg swallowed. “W-what are you doing with your sword?”

Pearl rested the sword in her lap, glancing down at it.

“Oh ...” she said touching the tip lightly with one finger. “Thinking. Just thinking.”

“O-okay,,” Greg laughed nervously. “I don’t typically hold swords when I think, but that’s cool! Yep, no judgement here!”

Pearl didn’t laugh but that was no surprise; she never laughed when he joked around with Rose and the others. Her eyes stayed transfixed on her sword.

“So I had an ... interesting conversation with Rose today,” Pearl said.

 _Yep, gonna die,_ Greg thought. _I’m going to die_ right now _._

“O-oh?” he said as calmly as he could manage.

“Yes,” Pearl said. Her gaze shifted up to Greg. “She’s pregnant.”

Greg didn’t say anything. He couldn’t even look Pearl in the eye.

Pearl gave a humorless chuckle.

“I imagine that’s no surprise to you,” Pearl said, waving her free hand. “But it came as quite a shock to me. I ... I didn’t even know it was physically possible.” Pearl shook her head. “But then Rose told me how she managed to do it. She always _did_ find ways to do the impossible.” She tilted her head back up and narrowed her eyes at Greg. “And then she told me what would happen when the ... _child_ is born. What would happen _to her_.”

Greg sighed.

“Yeah,” said Greg sadly. “I know.”

Pearl tilted her head.

“So you did know,” she said quietly. “Of course. Rose wouldn’t keep that from you. She’s not capable of something that cruel ... at least ...” Pearl’s voice cracked. “At least I used to think that.”

“Pearl,” said Greg. He should have been terrified. Part of him was, he could feel chill creep down his spine. But still, hearing the sadness in Pearl’s voice, he couldn’t help but feel he had to ... help her. He reached out with one hand.

Pearl’s head snapped up. Tears clung to her cheeks. She looked furious.

“Don’t _touch_ me!” Pearl said, filled with venom. Her grip tightened on the hilt of her sword. “Stand up.”

“Look, Pearl, we can talk--”

She pointed the sword at his face, the tip much too close for comfort.

“I SAID STAND UP!” she shouted.

“Okay! Okay,” said Greg. His eyes were stuck on the sword. He could almost feel how sharp it is without it even touching him. “Just ... relax, alright?”

He wiggled out from under the blanket. His t-shirt from yesterday was now soaked with sweat and his jeans were dirty. He brushed his long hair away from his eyes as he got up, slowly, and backed against the wall of the van opposite Pearl.

Pearl stood up. She glanced down at the comforter and blanket at her feet. She turned the blanket over with the end of her sword.

“This is where you sleep?” Pearl said quietly.

Greg wasn’t sure if questions that casual were appropriate mid-murder attempt.

“Uh, yeah,” said Greg. “Well, it used to be, I don’t think I’ll be getting much sleep ever again after this.” He laughed.

Pearl didn’t reply. She prodded the comforter with her sword.

“Looks comfortable,” said Pearl. “Tell me ... _Greg_.” The hand holding her sword started to shake. “Is this also where you and Rose come to _do whatever it is you DO_?!”

She raised her hand and spiked the sword down on the floor. It bounced, clattering all around the van. It nearly cut Pearl but she hardly seemed to noticed. She wasn’t focused on anything except Greg.

Before Greg could say anything, Pearl ran up and grabbed the collar of his shirt. She lifted him from off the ground with surprising strength, pinning him against the wall. Her eyes were wet with tears.

“You’re a killer,” Pearl said through gritted teeth. “You did this to her, YOU DID THIS!”

“Pearl, it’s not like that. Rose wanted to--”

“ _I don’t care!_ ” screamed Pearl. “She’s going to give up her physical form, she’s going to _die_ , _and you made it happen_! How could you just let her do this?!”

“I-I wasn’t alright with it at first either, but after hearing how Rose felt, I started to--”

“ _Shut up!”_ She was breathing heavily. “You should have heard her tell me about it. She was smiling the whole time ... like it was a miracle! Like I should be _happy_. But how could I knowing she was going to--” A sob welled up in her throat. “How could I knowing she was going to die? That I’d never even see her again, all because of _this_?”

Greg swallowed.

“Look Pearl ...” He glanced down. “I ... I know how you feel. I know this is like the hardest thing you’d ever have to deal with. Believe me, Pearl, I understand--”

“Don’t you _dare_ act like you know how this feels!” said Pearl. “Don’t you even dare. How can you _possibly_ understand?!”

“Because I love her too, Pearl! And you _know_ it!”

Pearl’s eyes widened. For a moment, she seemed unable to say anything, then she abruptly released Greg’s collar. He slid back down to a sitting position. He looked up at Pearl, one hand clawing at her forehead and her hair.

“I ... I just don’t get it,” whispered Pearl. “I said so many horrible things once she told me. Things I can never take back and she just stood there and took it. I ... I couldn’t stop myself. I was hoping if she saw how mad I was maybe ... maybe somehow ...” She sniffed and rolled her eyes. “That somehow it just wouldn’t be _real_ anymore. That she’d just make it stop.”

Greg clutched his knees with his hands.

“Yeah ... it all feels pretty unreal to me too,” Greg said. “I keep trying not to think about what’ll happen when she ...” He couldn’t even finish, but they both knew what he was going to say.

There was an uncomfortable silence.

“I’m sorry for all of this,” said Pearl finally. “I’m not even sure why I came here. It’s not like I could have brought myself to ...” She glanced back at her sword. “To do anything anyway.”

“Heh, well, you coulda fooled me,” chuckled Greg.

Pearl shook her head.

“No ... I mean, how would I be able to face Rose or anyone else if I actually--” She sighed. “Can I ask you something?”

“Yeah?”

“Why don’t you hate me?”

Greg looked up at Pearl, her face still red from crying.

“It’s not like I’m _nice_ to you,” Pearl said. “I’m not even _cordial_. So ... why not?”

Greg thought for a moment then just shrugged.

“Why would I hate someone just for seeing the same thing I see in Rose?” he said.

“You don’t get jealous?!” Pearl thought for a moment. “Oh ... no, I guess you wouldn’t.” Pearl looked away. “It’s clear she likes you best.”

“Come on Pearl, that’s not--”

“Don’t patronize me, we both know it’s true.”

Greg tried to think of something to say, but couldn’t. There wasn’t anything he thought _anyone_ could say to take that hurt.

“Can I ask you one more thing, Greg?” asked Pearl.

“Sure, what?”

“You’re the only person who knows Rose as well as me ... can ... can you please just tell me ...” She took a deep breath. “What did I do wrong?”

“Pearl, what do you--”

Pearl walked over and sat down against the wall next to him. She stared straight ahead, not even looking at him.

“What ... what could I have done to make it so she wouldn’t have to do this?!” She rubbed the tears from her eyes, but they kept coming. “What is it? What is it she needs so badly that I couldn’t give her?! I just don’t understand!”

Greg put his hand on Pearl’s shoulder.

“Pearl, it’s okay--”

“I mean, she _says_ there isn’t anything wrong with me, every time I ask she says that, but there must be, right?! There has to be something I could have done, something I did or didn’t do, something that could have made things _different_!”

Pearl twirled her head around, her nose nearly touching Greg’s.

“Please, Greg!” She grabbed the front of his shirt. “You have to know! She loves you so much, you _have_ to know something I don’t!”

“Pearl, I really don’t--”

“No! There _has_ to be an answer! Even if it’s too late to do anything, please just tell me what it is, just so I can know! I _need_ to know what I could have done! Just tell me!”

She collapsed, her head falling against Greg’s chest. He could feel his shirt get wet from tears.

“I just want to know what was wrong with me,” she said between breaths. “What was ever wrong with me?”

She cried into his chest. Awkwardly, Greg patted her back with one hand before it eventually turned into an odd half-embrace. Neither one of them said anything. The only noise was the occasional sniff from Pearl. He gave her all the time she needed to let it all out.

After a long time, as soon as Pearl had calmed down enough, Greg cleared his throat.

“Um ... Pearl?” he said.

“Yes?” said Pearl, sounding hoarse.

“After you’re done, since there’s absolutely no way I’m getting to sleep after all this ... you want to just talk for a while?” he asked. “As ... friends, maybe?”

Pearl didn’t reply for a moment, then closed her eyes and nodded.

Greg could feel his face flush.

“And uh ... would it be okay if we, you know, put the sword outside? Far away from me?”

There was a snort of laughter. It was the first time Pearl had ever laughed at anything Greg said.

“Of course, Greg.”


End file.
